Just a few days ago, I had lunch with Christine. I had a ham and cheese bagel. It was a nice day so we decided to go for a walk and we actually went to go check out Laurier for the first time. I always heard about how it's basically a trumped up high school and after a look around I'd have to agree. It's a nice campus, but everything's so small. Besides, how can you take a university seriously if it doesn't even have an engineering faculty? :) Anyway, as Christine and I were browsing around, I got a wicked stomach cramp.
So later on, Christine and I have the following conversation:
"You know, this seems to happen to you a lot".
"Yeah, I guess I just have a weak stomach".
"Did you ever consider the possibility that you may be lactose intolerant"??
Yeah, it basically hit me like a thunderbolt. It makes so much sense. I don't think I ever noticed it because it's so inconsistent. There have been several times, where I've gone out to eat, and I'll get sick when no one else does. I came up with the "weak stomach" theory a while ago, but frankly, I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Yet, I'm sure there have been other times when I've had dairy and I've been fine. I'm definitely pretty thick though because I know for a fact that it's happened at least the last 3 times I had pizza. The pizza was really good though so I didn't even mind that much. :)
To test the theory, I decided that I would have a very lactose-heavy dinner. Wilfully daring!. I felt pretty good after, but almost exactly two hour later, I got hit with some excruciating pain. It was just like in the movies when someone empties a bottle of Ultra-lax into the bad guy's drink. I even made an "ooowwhh" sound.
By the way, sorry if I'm grossing you out, but you knew the post was about lactose intolerance didn't you sucka?!
I guess popping a few pills isn't so bad, but still, A loser is me. I read somewhere that about 70% of Asian people become lactose intolerant when they reach adulthood. The interesting thing is that I don't think being lactose intolerant really an ailment as far as nature is concerned. I bet early humans hardly ever drank milk after infancy and probably died before osteoporosis and arthritis became issues so digesting lactose wasn't a big deal. Thank goodness for Lactaid and beware of friendly cows.